Apterous
by spiritdetectiveusagi
Summary: "A Turk finds himself dying and wishing for a second chance. Gaia grants him his wish but with one condition..." Rated M for violence, language, and adult themes. Please review and thanks for reading.
1. Prelude

**A/N: Hi people of fanfiction! My first time writing a final fantasy story and I'm so excited! I'm glad I finally put it up! :D I don't own final fantasy 7 or any of its characters T-T** **...unfortunately... This is purely fanmade and I thought I'd take Reno to the next level. We simply don't get enough of our favorite red head do we? ;3 There's gonna be smut later on so if yaoi offends you don't read it! Thanks for your time and please review! :D**

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Y'know, ever since I was a little kid I always wanted to fly…

I would stare at the sky all day long, lying on my back in the tall grass at the edges of Midgar letting the wind caress my short crimson spikes, my tiny body full of envy and jealousy. They soared through the heavens, lighter than the feathers they wore, cawing joyously without a care in the world. The birds looked so free, so **happy,** and yet I don't think I ever coulda been like them. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be. I was supposed to be melted to the ground with no escape, trapped in the slums like 'a stray dog. All I wanted to be was **free**.

_It was all I ever wanted._

However, I knew that no matter how envious I was of the skies there was a person right here for me to look up to. She was someone I could actually reach. It wasn't like the one sided relationship I had with the birds. I could extend my little hands up to the skies and never grasp them, they were intangible, unreachable. But with Ranine, I didn't need 'a pair of wings to do it; I could be just like her. She was all I ever wanted to be: adventurous, brave, courageous, giving. She was the best example any little brother could ask for.

The days we spent together, were something I could never forget. We really didn't have the best parents in the world and our other siblings fared better without us so we were always on our own. She protected me like a mother would, like our mother failed to do. She always made sure I ate, had clothes to wear, shoes on my feet. Y'know, the basic essentials to living and stuff. Never over the top, we weren't rich enough for that. Luxury was something only the snobby bastards on the upper plate could afford. Yet we lived on happily, the best we could.

Even till this day I always wondered what she would look like now. I've heard from a lot of people we grew up with that we look exactly alike, almost like twins despite the fact we were several years apart. It's funny how the person I admired most I ended up favoring physically but failing in every other aspect. I was a drunken, drugged up bastard like our father, a closeted failure like our mother, and an uneducated sack of shit like the rest of our siblings.

If Ranine could see me now she would be nothing but disappointed.

I always tried my best to be the example she had set for me but no matter how hard I tried I could never be like her. Not with her goggles, not with her looks, not even with my futile attempts at carrying on her ideas and aspirations. I was a sad excuse of a little brother, vying for a dream so unachievable.

_And then I realized..._

**My wings were clipped from the beginning**, like a flightless chocobo. I was never meant to touch the skies like Ranine was able to. I was destined to be a bottom feeder, the lowest of the low, a lap dog willing to kill for his bone. This is what I would grow up to be. Not the courageous, loving, and endearing sister I would give the world for. I was always what everyone wanted me to be, the clay to someone's mold.

I was never anything at all.

I was just Reno.

The red headed child that was always everybody else.

_The sad little child that __**no one**__ ever knew who he truly was. _


	2. Chapter 1: The End is The New Beginning

**A/N: I've been writing for awhile now, and have yet to put a Reno fanfic on here. I'm glad I finally mustered up the courage to! I unfortunately do not own Final Fantasy 7 or any of its characters :( even though it would be awesome if I did! :) **

**However there is a warning. In this chapter there is some graphic violence and depictions of death so if you're a bit queasy don't read. And in later chapters there will be smut so if you don't like yaoi, sorry.**

**Please read and I hope you enjoy! I'll try my best to put up the next chapter between Monday and Wednesday**. **Thanks for reading and please review! ^-^  
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The_ pain itself was immense. _

_It felt like he was tearing in two at the waist, ripping as every seam within him popped excruciatingly. He could feel the snap as it reverberated through every fiber of his being. He felt hot as if lava morphed itself into the very blood that coursed through his aching veins. He groaned and cried out in pain the loudest he could muster, his viridian hues pulsating as a trickle of sweat fell from his crimson brow. He didn't know where he was, what was going on, where this fire burning in him was coming from. _

_All he knew was that he felt like he was ending. _

_He was surprisingly afraid, a sort of panic swelling within him. He hyperventilated like a madman, his lungs tightening like balloons ready to explode. His hands raced to plug the holes, to put pressure on the places that hurt. There was a grand flaw in his plan however, he was hurting __**everywhere**__. He tried to calm himself, tried to sings songs, think of happy points in his life; like the time spent with his fellow Turks, or the wonderful cup of gin he had the night before._

_But none of it helped._

_His sight was darkening, his hearing fading, the pain __**growing**__… manifesting into a nightmare he didn't want to dream._

_"Gods… Rude!" He cried out to his partner in a broken, gargled whimper, the metallic taste of blood flooding his mouth. _

_"Tseng!" He gazed to the left. No one._

_"Elena!" He gazed to the right. Not a single person._

_"SOMEBODY!" He howled as loud as possible, screeching in unbearable pain. Not a soul came to his aid._

**_He was all alone._**

_His vision flickered in and out like a withering light bulb. It wouldn't be soon before it gave out completely. Though his vision was fading there was __**one thing**__ he could make out._

_There was nothing but red..._

**_A sea of crimson…_**

_…Leaking right out of his precious body and all over the ground, embedding itself into the leaves around him._

_It never ended, just kept spilling and leaching right out, slowly but surely. He felt faint, and dizzy; he had lost way too much blood and it wouldn't be long before it was all over, __**before he was over**__._

_He found himself filled with regret… How had he done this to himself? There was so much he had left unfinished, so many things about himself that he wanted to change. He didn't want to be a drunk anymore, he wished he hadn't ran the streets like a crack head sleeping with any and everything that walked upright, wished he had told some people how he really felt, instead of putting on this nonchalant charade he was notorious for. In short, he hated himself. _

_Deep down he __**really**__ hated himself. This person that was dying right now was not the person he had the potential to be. He had always been told that he was destined for greater things. But the more and more you looked at it, if you took away the Turks. __**He was nothing.**__ He was unsatisfied with his life, unhappy because he knew he was going to die a failure…_

_Maybe this was payback._

_… No…_

_This __**was**__ payback._

_ Gaia was showing him just what it was like when he dropped the plate on sector seven, bringing it straight to hell; killing thousands of innocent people in the process. Men, women, children; all those innocuous souls lost, swallowed up by the Lifestream. She was showing him the consequences of joking about it… _

**'Just following orders…'**

_Yeah... Those words were echoing through his head right now, repeating themselves vehemently. _

_There was no escape…_

_This was the end._

_It wasn't long before he gave up. There was no point in hollering and screaming, he would only die quicker, suffer more. He just laid there on his back, choking on his own blood, lying in the tall grass. The wind caressed him, as if Gaia was calling out to him, telling him it was time to go back to the Lifestream. The pupils in his beryl hues expanded, growing wide with impending death, almost like they were opening up a passage way for his soul. _

_He was on the verge of closing his eyes for good… that is, until he heard it. _

_The beautiful cawing and melodious singing of birds in the sky._

_He fluttered his beryl hues upwards, just in time to catch them in flight. It was just like when he was a kid, when he dreamed of flying, prayed to the Gods he could get away from this place. But he was stuck, he was always trapped. _

_You could never escape Midgar, just like you could never escape death._

_If this is what he was to see right before he died, then he could go peacefully. Just to see the birds one last time before he went, that was enough. Before he knew it he succumbed to the peaceful darkness. All the sounds of the animals filled his ears as they faded into silence. He could hear the rushing of feet against the leaves and the cry of one of his fellow Turks._

"Gods… How did this happen…? Hey, wake up!"

"Reno! Oh man, Reno… Stay with me buddy!"

_It was already too late. He had settled on his decision, he was going to the Lifestream. With a final smile and a gargling laugh he opened his eyes just enough to see what appeared to be Rude. He could barely see the panic in his ocher hues, shielded by his heavy colored shades. He didn't say a word; there was none to be said. He just watched the birds as they flew off into the distance, admired them one last time as he faded from this world._

"Reno! Open your eyes man!"

**_There was no more pain._**

**_No more sorrow._**

"Oh Gaia… Reno!? …Reno!"

**_He was finally free._**

**_Just like the birds…  
_**

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There's this old sayin'…

It says that when ya die your life flashes before your very eyes.

I always believed it was a sack of horse shit but** now**…

_I beg to differ._

Images from my childhood are flashing before me, like I'm watchin' one giant slideshow of my life. There's no sound, just silence and the pictures scrollin' through my mind. I wanna cut it off, just end it already. There's no point in seeing it for a second time, it's a waste of the seconds I could be spending on my future. On some pitiful future I know I'm gonna fuck up.

I'm not sure if I'm still dying or I'm already dead. Maybe I've floated off to the Lifestream already. If so I'm probably not going to the good part… I wasn't what you'd particularly call a saint. I don't deserve it. My actions are the end consequence of what's happening now. This is justice. All the people I ended… I'm a serial killer technically. Well I _was. _Without the cops, the news team on my ass, and the endless killing spree.

Besides if I did go there…

There'd be a lot of people that'd definitely tear me to shreds.

The pictures start to become more vivid, the noises finally flooding my ears. Childish laughter, screams of sorrow, and battle cries; all sounds that are just too familiar. It's the story of my fuckin' life. There was no escape. There was never an escape. I was meant to watch everyone go, I was meant to kill, and I was meant to never be happy. I'm reliving each and every one of these events just like it was yesterday. There is no choice or option.

The adventures I shared with Ranine as a child. I can see tall fields of grass, a group children running hand in hand. A small red headed boy surrounded by his sister and friends that will be dead in the next ten years. Joyous shouts and merriment sweeter than any candy fill my ears. I've lived this moment before, treasured it because I knew it was one in a million. Because I knew it would never happen again.

_"I know you're gonna be someone special Reno…" _I could hear her voice loud an' clear. It was almost enough to evoke tears, but I bit my tongue, held them at bay. I had cried enough.

The many lives that I could not save; the very lives of people I cherished. Every Turk, every friend, everyone I ever watched die or felt responsible for; all of them are flashing before me. Their smilin' faces one by one are passing by my very eyes. I can feel nothing but pain. I try to make it stop but it trails on… then the voices start.

_"It's not your fault Reno."_

_"You did everything you could."_

Their voices seep into my mind, I can't stop them now. They continue on and on. But the only thing I can think about is the promises made under the heavy and sorrowful rain; the very promises that I have yet to keep. It's almost too much to bear. I feel like a failure. So many things I said I would do. I haven't even begun to attempt them. All those promises wasted, just to give people a peaceful passing.

At this point I cannot take it anymore. I figured death would be peaceful, that it would be my real getaway. But instead it's bringing me nothin' but agony and misery. These images that Gaia is showing me, are overkill. I'm breaking down piece by piece. I don't understand why I'm being shown this. Why these events are being repeated in my head? I feel overwhelmed as they prolong; I just want it to be over.

By this time I'm prayin' for it to end. I'm beggin' and pleadin' with Gaia just to end it already.

"Please just let me die, yo… Just let me go!" I scream out to her, loud enough that my voice echoes into the darkness. Like a switch everything goes white instantly as if I'm heard. It's so sudden that my viridian hues pulsate from the change, my pupils painfully dilating. Without a second to waste I cover my eyes, the discomfort from it almost too much to bear.

"Tch… Fuck." I spurt aloud angrily, a snarl appearing upon my face. I knew I appeared feral, I could feel it. I was frustrated, livid, and I felt as if I was being toyed with.

"The hell is your problem yo?!" I bellowed loudly, roaring with such force that the room exploded into a lengthy expanding corridor.

_"No man can walk out on his own story Reno…"_

A female voice consumed the room, its deep and powerful undertone reverberating within me, resonating into the expanse of the snowy hallway, as panes of glass formed on the walls. They started out as thin lines then grew upwards, their reflective grey hue mirroring something almost otherworldly. There was something inside the panes of glass and that only piqued my curiosity. I could hear the crackle and pop of fire, an orange glow crawling its way out of the glass. I found myself walkin' towards them, slowly, almost like a cat would as it stalks its prey. I was afraid to look at first; my stomach tied up in knots, I was seriously worried. I could feel a pit form itself in my throat as I tried to swallow it away, but to no avail.

I could hear my conscience telling me not to look.

_'Don't look, don't do it Reno…'_

_'Just don't fuckin' look man…'_

Knowin' me though… when do I ever listen to myself?

The first image that I'm greeted by is dead bodies lying in a playground. They appear to be children younger than the age of ten, their parents wrapped around them protectively. I dive to the side without hesitation, my hand covering my mouth. I couldn't look, all those little lifeless eyes felt like they were starin' back at me, piercing my soul. I felt sick, like I was gonna lose my lunch. Curiosity sang its dirty song once again and I found myself lookin'. Every window, every single one was of people dying or already dead. The windows on the left depicted people dying while the ones on the right showed those very people dead. Their screams echoed through my ears, shrill cries of panic, blood curdling screeches of death, people beggin' for help. All of these horrific scenes were looping over and over.

Men, women, and children; all dying one by one without reason it seemed.

The place in each and every mirror was smoldering, on fire it seemed. Flaming debris was always falling from the sky, people were always running, it seemed as if there was a giant earthquake trying to take out everyone. However, if there was one thing I noticed each and every window where the people were always in the process of dying each loop began with this horrendous sound. It was this loud thunk, like the cables on a bridge snapping and the piercing cry of unsuspended, free falling metal. It was the worst sound, yet it seemed so familiar that I couldn't bring myself to remember.

Somethin' though wasn't right at all. The number of windows was way too weird. They weren't even.

"The hell... is this…?"

I found myself questioning, as I peered closer into the strange panes of glass. There were four on the left and three on the right, nothing more, nothing less. One person looked familiar to me out of all of the windows though, a little boy standing over his dead parents. He was fairly young, his curly dirty blonde hair stained with blood. He bawled up his fists in anger it seemed, the baton strapped to his back swaying in the ominous, ash filled wind. Not a single tear fell from his cerulean hues; he just stared in silence without a word.

I knew this kid didn't belong; he never flickered when the loop came, just stood there and watched as if he was different from everyone else. It scared me in a way; actually it freaked the shit out of me. But curiosity was a sick bitch and I found myself entranced. I couldn't look away. The more and more I watched this kid I couldn't shake how familiar he seemed. I found myself walkin' closer and closer, without much thought, the weird shimmer of the window reflecting in my viridian orbs. I unconsciously went to touch the glass not even realizing what could happen. I wanted to reach in, see exactly who this kid was.

My breath hitched as I grasped for it, my hands were shaky and clammy. This little boy seemed so familiar, and the horrific loop he was trapped in was so horrifying. A kid watching his parents as they died from overwhelming injuries due to whatever trauma they suffered, his tiny crimson stained body still as a stone. His blue eyes were piercing as he turned to face me, his glassy orbs cold and void of any life. I could hardly think but I just had to touch, I just had too. And when I did, I found myself immediately regretting it.

The second the skin from my fingers made contact with the cold pane it caved in and exploded.

I dove back to dodge the blow as all the windows shattered, the shards of glass flying in my direction. The sharp pain as millions of tiny flecks of crystal perforated my flesh hard enough to draw blood jolted me like no other. I screamed as I fell to the ground, my eyes widening in shock. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. The people, the very people that were dead a few seconds ago were reaching their arms out of the opening of the windows. They roared at me, their screeches apparent as I tried my best to cover my ears. It was deafening, thunderous, the corridor shakin' as each of their cries bellowed through the long hallway.

_"You did it!"_

_"YOU KILLED US!"_

_"I watched my family die because of you!"_

_"Why!? Why did you do it!?"_

_"You were just following orders huh? Like a dog!"_

_"You killed my parents!"_

Next I knew they were coming out of the walls. Their shrills filled me, occupied my body with nothin' but terror. Their slack jawed faces captured my vision, faces so badly battered I can't even begin to describe. The victims pulled at my clothes rippin' them with their scarlet drenched palms as they shouted hateful words in my ears. I felt consumed, enveloped. I was trapped, literally trapped. I don't know why but the first thing I did was cry for Rude, Tseng, Elena, and Rufus. I didn't defend myself, attack back, or even try to run away. It shocked me that they were the first people to come to mind. Here I was fearin' for my existence, completely afraid of these people. But what got me the most is how many dead children were telling me that I murdered them and their parents as they slept in their beds. I wasn't usually one to be scared of anything. Fear was always the last thing on my mind. I usually laughed situations like these away, but I couldn't find the laughter. No. This was no joke. These people, these people that said I killed them…

They were going to tear me limb from limb.

"Gaia please! Please, just stop!" I begged to the only person I knew could hear and just like that the nightmare was over. There were no more people and I was left alone with nothin' but myself. That's when the bitter taste of bile filled my mouth. It rushed up my throat expelling itself from my body. The sound it made as the brown liquid smacked against the floor only compelled me to vomit more and more. By the time I was done stinging tears were falling down my cheeks as I lay curled in a fetal position in the corridor stained with blood. I was goin' insane… I was literally losin' it.

"Why the fuck is this happenin', yo? Why the hell are you doin' this to me!?" I cried aloud as shaky hands found their way to my face. The pulled at my fiery spikes and vigorously rubbed my cheeks as I broke down. I was trembling uncontrollably; I had no idea why these events were happening to me. I wanted it all to end; it was sucha nightmare that I couldn't believe it was reality. I wanted someone to pinch me; I wanted to wake up in my warm bed and drink this horrid dream away. I wanted to go back home. This is what I've been resorted too, a heapin' sobbin' mess, a shell of my former self. She's wrecked me and for what I don't even know.

I sit there for what seems like forever, in pure, dreadful silence. I can't handle what's goin' to hit me next, I know it's not gonna be peachy. The longer I lay there, the more and more I think of the endless possibilities that could arise. "Why me…?"

What's coming up for me?

What exactly does she have planned?

_"The sector…"_ That female voice was back, its booming powerful undertone vibrating my core. I sat up straight my eyes searching for the source.

"What sector?" It's a word I haven't heard in forever, the eight sectors. It brings back horrendous memories I would love to forget, the very ones I had repressed.

As I stand up off the ground the shards of glass on the floor begin to shake. It seems like an earthquake is about to happen.

"Shit…" I immediately tense up, my arms covering my face as the shards pick up from the ground and back to the windows, each forming their own number. They go in numerical order, the final window being seven.

_"The sector…"_

"Sector seven…" I repeat back with a gasp.

It explains everything up until this point. I understand now why Gaia is doin' this to me; it's because of what I've done in the past. I bring my hands to cover my face, the shrills of everyone's pain as they die over and over again consume me. All those children, those women, and men; all of them died because of me. This was all my fault! I feel myself fall to my knees, every image of every person tormenting my mind. This is what I dreaded; this is exactly what I didn't want to happen.

"Please… I wanna try again… Please… I'm sorry!" I begged aloud with clenched fists and gritted pearly daggers, the tears escaped my eyes like overflowing rivers. The emotions were the storm and my eyes were the levees that were now shattered beyond repair.

I pleaded with her repeatedly, asking her for any way to try again. I knew I didn't deserve it, that it was pitiful that I even had the gall to ask. But I didn't feel right; I had regretted pushin' that button to no end from the beginning. It had subconsciously haunted me, to the point where I didn't even realize it. These images, these people that I'm starin' at through the window; they are all my greatest sin. I'm gazing right into the windows of my soul… and it's sickening. It disgusts me that I managed to get a good night's sleep when this is the evil I've committed.

"I know I don't deserve it… but I… I just wanna make it right yo." I sniveled as I tried to control myself. My hands found themselves to my face once again, the sounds of the bodies burning and the awful smell surrounding me one last time before disappearing.

_"I love all my children Reno… you however, are the most troubling."_

That feminine voice was back, except it was closer. With slight hesitation I removed my hands from my face only to find myself in darkness with nothin' but a spotlight on me. I could hear footsteps far off in the distance, the sound making me tense up. I wanted to know who had been speaking to me and I had it feeling it was Gaia herself. I wiped the tears and snot, tried to wipe the vomit and blood away; look as presentable as I possibly could. But I understood this woman knew me better than any book. There was no hiding; she knew exactly what depraved being I could be. There were no secrets. **After all she created me.**

The first thing I could see was the stunning mako orbs. I couldn't look away and the more I stared I realized that there was more to her than just the eyes. She was stunning, more beautiful than any woman I had ever seen.

She was a gorgeous sight, long flowing brunette curls that traveled past her back and spilled over her shoulders, icy blues so bright that they sparkled even in the dark, a cherub shaped face and an angelic voice to go with. Her white flower printed dress fit perfectly around her tall slender frame, with curves to match and her lengthy legs stepped over one another as she walked closer and closer to me. She had the perfect slim, athletic build for a woman; she was a walking mass of beauty.

This was the woman that was torturing mw unto oblivion. Totally not what I was expectin'.

"I choose to live… I can't die... not yet. I just can't yo."

She simply stared at me, one perfectly plucked brunette brow raised high, _"You want to live? What about the thousands of people who begged for life?"_

I swallowed hard at her retort, but she was right. What made me so special?

"I can change it… If you give me the chance. I **won't** press that button." I answered right back, my hands clenching with anticipation.

_"Really? Do you understand what will transpire? You will radically alter the future..."_

"So then change it yo. You're motherfuckin' Gaia… can't you do that?"

_"No I cannot. The repercussions would be too great."_

"You wouldn't have showed me all those people dyin' like that if you didn't want me to fix it, which I can do. You just gotta give me the chance… please!"

She bit her bottom lip as she stared me down, a sigh echoing from her. _"Yes… yes…," _She started off as a wayward hand found her face…

_"I did want you to change it. But I wanted you to accept the change in your heart." _Her mako orbs fixated right onto my viridian ones, I couldn't look away.

'My heart? What heart…. That died a long time ago…' I almost wanted to say, but I bit my tongue.

_"That's exactly what I mean, you deny this. Deny that… But Reno, you do not understand the severity of your situation. At this point, you've almost brought more devastation than Sephiroth… not in the same context but you are pretty close on terms of single handed damage. You say you're heartless but you have one of the biggest hearts I've ever seen."_

She wrapped her palms around my cheeks forcing me to look straight up at her.

_"You are my child, and despite the sins you have committed I wanted nothing but the best for you."_

The lump in my throat was great, I tried to swallow it down, force it away but nothing worked. Here I was thinking this lady wanted me to suffer but she only wants to help? My jaw clenches tightly as I stare right into her glowing hues, "Then give me a second chance, please."

Her hands find my crimson spikes, her fingers petting them softly.

_"I must show you something first."_

_******It was instantaneous, the way the scenery changed. ******_

When I opened my eyes, I was greeted by a procession of people dressed in black. They were standin' in the middle of a field, their faces filled with sorrow and pain. I couldn't make out exactly who they were, but there were dozens of people all clustered around a man speaking. I couldn't hear his words; they were muffled as if someone had put cotton in his mouth. But nevertheless it piqued my curiosity once more.

_"Pay attention Reno." _Gaia spoke to me as she appeared right at my side.

_"These people are dear to you."_

"Dear… to me?" I questioned back, my face twisted in confusion. I seriously didn't understand what this chick was sayin' but I stared onwards. Watching the people watch a man speak, how motherfuckin' boring.

And then it hit me.

A bald man with ocher hues turned back to look at me from the crowd, his eyes concealed by the shades he was never caught without. It took me by surprise, why the hell was Rude here?

"Hey, Rude!" I called out to him, but he only looked away and back to the man. It was as if I was never noticed. I ran in his direction, through the crowd of people. I got some dirty looks but they weren't directly at me it seemed. "Rude… man are you gonna ignore me now?" Nothing. No response.

"Tch… asshole."

I turned my head, only to be greeted by Elena crying. She wiped at her face with a handkerchief, her amber hues spilling over with anguish. I reached out to her, my face filled with concern.

"Why are you cryin' Leny?" I asked her, but received no response as well.

The President was right by her side, his arms crossed in disdain. I could tell he didn't want to be here but there was something in his stoic icy blues that could tell me he had been crying too. He didn't show it now, but I could tell he was bothered; the little apathetic façade he always carried was wrecked. I could see it in his dead eyes; this man has had a few sleepless nights.

Tseng was right by his side, his hands behind his back. His eyes were the same as the Pres' dead and lost. But behind the façade I could see the pain. His was more apparent than the Rufus' but he still managed to keep himself intact. He turned to the side to whisper in the Pres' ear. I couldn't make out what he was saying, but by reading his lips I could see two words.

Reno and killed.

"What the hell are you talkin' about yo? Killed?" I bellowed at him, my fists clenched in anger.

Despite my outbursts he continued to ignore me, his body turning back to its previous position once he stopped speaking. He pulled a hand from behind his back, his fingers finding his face. They shook at bit as his index and thumb pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh. Six words passing his lips.

"I cannot believe this is happening."

At this point I'm extremely confused. I'm wondering where I am now, I begin to search for Gaia but she's nowhere to be found. I scream at my fellow Turks even Rufus but no one answers.

"What the hell is goin' on?"

"Why are ya'll jus' standin' here?"

"Why the fuck is no one listenin' to me!?"

_"They can't hear you…" _Gaia's voice calls out to me once again.

"Why is that? Why can't they hear me? I thought you said you were going to bring me back!"

_"Turn around…"_

In all honesty, I really don't want to do what she says. All of the atrocities I've seen up until this point I'm afraid to turn around. But something compels me to. I'm not sure if it's my curiosity or stupidity, but I always end up doin' what I know I'm gonna regret. As I muster up the courage to move my feet, my heart is poundin' in my chest. It feels as if it's gonna explode right out of me. Somehow I manage to make a complete turn and I'm greeted by my picture, my goggles, and my EMR sittin' on an altar.

"**I'm at my damn funeral…**"

All the sounds come rushing in; Elena's sobbing, the man talking, Tseng's sighs of frustration and disbelief. I find myself turning to look for Gaia, but she's nowhere to be found once again.

"Come on Gaia… I can't. Get me out of here!" I screamed as loud as I could, my voice echoing throughout the field. "I gotta change… you gotta give me a chance!"

_"I will give you your second chance on one condition. You must change the events leading up to the destruction of sector seven. You will relive your life for the second time as recompense for your previous actions. Every wound, every tear, every sorrowful event must be repeated once again. However, you do have the option to change it."_ She appeared right before me, her eyes cold as ice.

"_I am giving you your second chance. Please, Reno do not make me regret this. I have faith in you."_

I stared at her, my beryl hues widened in shock. "Thank you… thank you…" Was all I could say before she reached out and pulled me into an embrace. If it was anyone else I would have pulled away, but there was something about her hug that made me melt. It felt so familiar, so comforting that I forgot where I was. It reminded me of someone I had once known and had wished to see again.

_"You can finally be that 'someone special' your sister wanted you to be."_

* * *

"Open your eyes man! Reno!"

_ "Reno! … Reno... Oh Gaia…!"_

He opened his eyes, just in time to gaze at the birds, to look at the sorrow In Rude's ocher hues. Everything was going backwards. He chuckled with a grin, she was sending him back. Tears ran down his cheeks as he lay in the forest dying in reverse. Soon Rude was gone, he was no longer in the forest; he was no longer an adult. All of the memories rushed before his very eyes.

_The Turks._

_The remnants._

_Meteor._

_Sector Seven._

_Ranine._

It was an uplifting feeling; he was getting what he so desperately craved for all his life.

**A second chance.**


	3. Chapter 2: Kalm Before the Storm

**A/N: Sorry it took me so long to post the chapter. The new college semester started up and I've just been swamped. I'm almost done with the next chapter so it should be up soon! Please review, I would really appreciate it!**

* * *

****

It was a calm summer morning in the month of July.

The town of Kalm was now waking from its deep slumber. The soft blanket of fog from the previous night creeping away, revealing a little hamlet in the country side filled with a few small shops, a pub, and an inn. The streets were quiet, not a soul to be seen. It was unheard of for people to be out in the wee hours of the morning, unless they were heading out to work in the Mythril Mine. But if one were to venture out they would be greeted by a glorious sight. The dawning sun poked its head out from the clouds; just enough to pass a warm dim light over Kalm. Birds flew overhead singing sweet songs with Gaia as the flowers nestled in the ground danced with the wind.

It was unlike the industrialized Midgar, it was beautiful, homey, and very like its name in every way. There was rarely an incident here, it was true peace untainted by the horrors of the world. It was a place that everyone wanted to be, a place where you could raise your children without fear. Every day was filled with joyful cries of children and people smiling in pure happiness; it was like a party all the time. There was always a celebration it seemed.

Though today was a special occasion, there was one event that this little village had no idea was happening at this moment. In one of the little homes snuggled in between the shops and the inn there was a woman expecting another life she could call her pride and joy.

She huffed and panted in her bed, her immediate family surrounding her. Some faces were smiling, others filled with anticipation, and the rest with worry. Her lengthy crimson hair, wet with perspiration plastered itself to her forehead and cheeks, as tired stunning aquamarine hues pulsated in pain and expectancy. She had waited nine months for this moment, and she found herself not being able to wait a second longer. She didn't care about gender, hadn't let it hit her mind once. She just wanted to hold her little angel in her arms and cherish the first few seconds of their new life. She was excited, so much so that the pain itself faded. She still groaned and grunted from the pressure and lack of anesthesia but she was alright. The people by her side wouldn't let her get hurt or the little one she was so concerned about. Her family cheered her on, mother and father, brother and sister.

"Push! You can do it!"

"It's going to be all right!

"Just breathe! Deep breaths…"

And last of all her husband, whose sweaty palm held hers tightly, his chest filled with nervous anticipation. "You're almost there sweetheart. Just a little more."

He was right, she was there. No more waiting.

It wasn't long before she heard the cries; they were so small and precious to the point where it evoked tears of joy from the woman. The small newborn was picked up by her mother, and instantly wiped clean by a blanket. The baby's cries grew louder as they were scrubbed and the tether of life between them and mother snipped. Every one pitched in, making sure that the infant was breathing, washed up, and pretty much taken care of. The mother surprisingly waited patiently, she had been in labor all night and it was indeed taking its toll on her. But she pushed herself,

"_Just a little longer..." _She thought with a sigh. Her head was spinning, her vision on the verge of fading but she stayed in there the best she could.

She leaned back against the headboard of the bed her heavy lids about to fall, "Hey, honey look."

Her husband nudged her, their little bundle of joy wrapped in his arms, their face shielded by a new blanket. She could hear the little cries but they seemed so far away. Her husband gently nudged her once again this time jolting her awake. She locked eyes with her love just in time to hear him say,

"It's a boy."

She reached out to him with a smile, taking her new baby in her arms. Her husband guided him to her, making sure she was strong enough. He kept his hand under his son, nestling right beside his wife.

She smiled with a sweet laugh as she peeled back the blanket and was greeted by startling viridian hues similar to hers and a shock of fiery hair. Joy lit up in her eyes as tears escaped them. Plush cheeks, full lips, a face truly meant for an angel. He was her little cherub, always would be.

"He looks just like you…" Her husband gasped with a small chuckle, his hand comfortingly rubbing her shoulder.

She couldn't control her sobs of happiness; they consumed her as she held him close, just like the laughter that escaped her chest. She could finally hold her baby! She pulled him away from her just so she could get one more look, and with a smile she leaned forward to kiss him on the forehead.

_"I've been waiting for you… Reno."_

* * *

**My first memory that I remember from my childhood is that of my parents.**

I can remember steppin' out of my room early in the mornin', my small feet lightly tappin' against the wood floor as I followed their voices. In the following years it would be somethin' I would always do when I wake up. Crawl out of bed, rub the sleep from my tired eyes, and sneak right into my ma's bed cuddlin' right next to her until she awoke… well it's what I would always do until _it _happened.

I tiptoed through the kitchen, my palms crumpling into my small white t-shirt as I adjusted my navy shorts. The voices led me out towards the back of our small house, my tiny hands tiredly rubbin' the night's sleep from my aqua hues. The sunlight crept down the hall, signifying that the oak double French doors were wide open, leading out to the expanse of the backyard. I could hear the chuckles over the sound of my bare feet against the wood floor, the almost hushed voices as I stepped closer and closer. It wasn't as quiet as they thought they could be, but who could blame them… It was obvious they were happy.

As I poked my head around the corner, I could see what all the commotion was about. They were sittin' on the wooden porch at the back of the house hand in hand, cuddled up in each other's arms. A happy chuckle stemmed from my mother's chest as her small slender hands flattened her crimson fringe cut bangs back to their original position, her lengthy scarlet tresses dancing in the gentle wind. Her frilly ivory day dress clung to her like its life depended on it, the puffed up skirt fluttering in the gale as stunning beryl hues locked onto my father.

He smiled back, his grin dazzlin' like a man laying his eyes on the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with for the first time. His short dirty blonde hair ruffled against the wind as well, his black short sleeve tee and faded denim jeans rustling with it. His amber hues intertwined with my mother's, they were no longer laughin'; just starin' like this was the first encounter that they ever shared together.

And then the chuckles started again. They giggled at each other like two school children, for no reason at all. I never figured out why they were laughin' that day, I would never find out. They were just so happy, always in a good mood. Before _it _happened they were always like this, actin' like they never had a care in the world but us. Their children came first and then them, we were always their first priority.

Though, as I poked my head around that corner before the hall down to the porch, I can remember wanting to sit in between them like I always do, my little fingers wrapped around the corner of the beige wall for support. But, there was somethin' that stopped me this time. No, this little moment they shared was way different from all the other times, I could feel it. I just couldn't stop this moment that belonged to them only, it just wouldn't be right. So I stood there, watchin' them, knowin' that I couldn't interrupt their peace.

"Shh! You'll wake the kids silly..." My mother teased my father, a luminous beam spreading across her face, her aqua hues sparkling with happiness.

"Oh, you're the one who's talkin' the loudest… are you at least excited about the job offer?"

My mother's face wrinkled a bit at his response, her face showing slight revulsion. My father waited for her words, almost anxiously it seemed, his arms relaxing enough to let her escape them as she turned her head away from his face.

"Yes but… no…" She replied softly, the wind flowin' around them and through her lengthy red curls.

"What do you mean…?" By now I could hear the concern in my father's voice, as well as see it.

"I don't want to leave my parents and siblings behind, but at the same time I want to live a life of my own." She sighed heavily as she fell back into his arms, her back to his chest as her own found their way to his neck. They slipped around him quietly, comfortingly, as he melted into her.

"Then let's live a life of our own…"

"What? But what about our life here?" My mother dove back her eyes falling on my father, a hidden emotion evident in her bright blue hues.

"I can't work in the Mythril mines forever sweetie… ShinRA is offering me a job… We'll be able to live in the city. We'll have enough money to take care of the kids. We'll finally be able to live the life we always wanted to. No more asking your parents for money or scrounging for food until our next paycheck. We'll finally be free."

"Kalm is a beautiful place but Midgar is way better than this. Besides we're both not originally from this town, technically we have no place here. I'm a Gongaga boy and you're a Junon girl. You know it. We can't live here forever it's just impossible."

She relaxed at his words, his hand reaching out in an attempt to comfort her. It seemed his words were true, and that realization hit her hard. He was right; the frog that stuck itself in her throat told her so. They couldn't make it here any longer that much was evident. They weren't even livin' on their own. Unbeknownst to me they were living off her parents expenses, taking whatever money they could get to support their five kids, including me. It had stressed my father out to no end, he had wanted to live on his own from the beginning but he knew it was impossible with the kids, with the small house that cost so much gil a month. They had been scroungin' for every penny they could. My mother however was comfortable with it; she knew her parents would always be there for her no matter what. She never felt her sense of pride was in question, and she knew that they needed the help. There would be a day in her mind where she would pay them back for all the help they gave. She just never knew when it would be.

Her eyes fell to the ground, the overwhelming debt she owed her parents floatin' in her mind. She wouldn't be able to keep this up for much longer. But if there was anythin' that bothered her about leaving her sanctuary for the industrialized Midgar, it was one thing…

"Junon was beautiful until ShinRA came… Kalm is heaven; it's so peaceful that I just can't leave…" She whispered as what appeared to be tears fell from her eyes. I wanted to run over towards her but before I could move I was held back by a hand on my shoulder. I turned to look up at my captor, my viridian orbs wide.

"Shh spy..." Ranine chuckled at me quietly, her fiery hair disheveled from her night's sleep. Her icy blues glowed in the light of the sun, its bright strip fallin' on her eyes only. She pulled me close, her attention focused on our parents. "How long have you been watching? Show me fingers…." She whispered again, as her free hand rubbed through my short spikes.

I shrugged my shoulders and raised three fingers, not all sure exactly what she was talking about. I was too young to understand the concept of time at this point, and in all honesty coulda cared less.

"I don't know…" I rasped back quietly, still confused.

Ma continued to cry in the background, her small sobs echoing throughout the house. Pa attempted to comfort her, his hands pullin' her close, one on her back and the other caressing her head. He rested his chin upon her skull, with closed eyes, his face bearing an almost apologetic quality. He hadn't meant to put her in tears, that much was obvious. He just needed her to know that he couldn't take it anymore. They were grown enough to fight for themselves.

"I'm so sorry... Just think about it honey… It's your decision."

Before I could run in their direction Ranine scooped me up and whisked me away. The last thing I can remember is the image of my mother sobbin' in my father's arms, the wind dancing around them. I reached for them, but never grasped and in my mind I'm glad I didn't. I never really understood that event until I grew older. Why my Ma cried that day was all too evident later. If I were in her shoes I wouldn't wanna leave either. Kalm was heaven. It was a place where you could raise your kids without fear, a place free from ShinRA's rule, a place where you never had to fight to stay alive.

**Midgar was hell on earth.**


	4. Chapter 3: The Tempest

**A/N****: Finally the next chapter, thank god its longer this time. I finally finished Kuroshitsuji I&II, yeah I know I'm late LOL! But its a wonderful anime, you should totally watch it! School is finally mellowing out so I should be able to post two chapters at a time hopefully, we'll just have to wait and see. If you read though please review, as I writer I really need feedback so I know that people actually appreciate my work and I'm not writing for myself. I'm not planning on going through the story without a single review so please, your feedback is greatly welcomed and appreciate it, I don't even care if its bad I would love any type of criticism. I worked really hard on this chapter so thanks and enjoy! **

**_Chapter playlist: _**  
_Si deus mi relinquet: Kuroshitsuji_

_Don't Stray Here: Frames_

_Yearning: Mono_

_Pure as Snow: Mono_

_Past is Prologue: Tycho_

**.**

.

.

.

.

"_Hey Ranine… how come we leavin'?" _

My answer was nothin' but aqua and tawny eyed stares; the only sound I was given was silence. It had all happened so suddenly and yet I didn't want to admit why. It had been a few days since anyone had said anythin'. The only sounds I had heard were the cries of my father and the phone call my mother made after he had said the word. It was unusual, even more so that no one said a single word to me. I stared back at my older brother and sister, my hands grippin' around the moogle Torben gave me a few weeks ago. Its red pom pom danced in front of my eyes as I squeezed it harder and harder. I begged for this all to end. I wanted things to go back to the way they used to be. The days were we would play every day, where Ma would cook a delicious breakfast and Pa would go to the mines and work, where I never had a care in the world.

"What's wrong?" I questioned again but received no answer; just watched as Ranine and Torben packed my belongings one by one. Strippin' the bed, breakin' it down, packing my toys, and my clothes; gutting my room from the inside out. They did it with an almost panicky haste and not once was a single word said. It bothered me to no end, the silence ate at me. No matter how many questions I asked I was never answered. I wanted to know why they were so silent, what was the deal? Why was this goin' on…?

"Please..?" I whimpered again as I ran up to Torben, a tiny hand tuggin' on his navy v-neck tee. It was as if I had tugged on the ears of a hibernating bear because I got nothin' but rage in return.

Torben turned his eyes on me, his cold amber stare piercing my small body. "Get him outta here…" He exasperated in a semi-controlled growl. Ranine hadn't heard him though; she was still packing my stuff, her face filled with sadness.

I tugged once again, unperturbed by his growing anger, "Torben… you okay?"

That was the straw that broke the camel's back. It was as if all the stress he had been holdin' in unleashed itself at that very moment. He grabbed a hold of the box he had been so carefully packing a few seconds ago and hurled it in Ranine's direction, his eyes full of rage. The veins in his neck and face pulsated with fury as he grabbed another box and tore it in two with his bare hands, "Get him the fuck outta here Ranine!"

She moved quicker than a chocobo makin' a break for it. She hustled me up in her arms, a quick, "Sorry.", passin' from her lips as she did so. I could hear Torben breaking out into a sob as we left; the sound of many of my belongings bein' hurled at the walls echoing throughout the house. They broke upon impact, leaving dents in the walls. He screamed furiously, almost desperately it seemed. It was like he was cryin' for help in a way. But no one came to help him, at least not immediately.

Ranine sat me on Quorra's bed, without even askin' her, and walked right out of the room to go comfort Torben. Before she left she passed a nod to Quorra and was given one back, like they understood what the other was thinkin'. It wasn't long before she was at my side, her fingers wrapping a blanket around my small body. She reached a hand to my face, her flowing flaxen mane spillin' over her shoulders,

"It's gonna be okay honey, it's not your fault. Big sis' here… "

I hadn't realized it at first, until she wiped the water from my face that I was cryin'. This was all too much, way too much for me to handle. Everyone was sad, everyone was hurt, and I couldn't help but feel it was my fault. I wanted to ask her why Torben acted the way he did, how come Pa hasn't said anythin' in days, and how come Ma was almost comatose when it came to any of our questions… but I knew I would never receive an answer.

"_Midgar took my mother! What makes you think I wanna go back Ranine!?"_

Further screaming from Torben and the sound of more of my belongings bein' broken bellowed throughout the house.

"I'm sick and fuckin' tired! Why can't we stay!? Why do we have to leave because of one monster in the Mines!? Why Ranine, why!?"

"Because its too painful too be here! I can't even look at his room anymore! We need to go Torben!"

"But I don't wanna… he promised he'd never leave… after mom died…. He promised he'd never fuckin' leave me!"

"Torben stop! Please STOP!"

I put my hands over my ears and shut my eyes with a shriek. I couldn't take the noise, the sadness, and the despair any longer. I wanted to get out of here. I needed to get out of here.

Without a second to lose Quorra picked me up and hauled me out of the house. On our way out I could see Torben in tears, as he tore a gaping hole through my bedroom wall. Ranine was at his side, trying to stop his onslaught of anger.

As we walked down the hall and down to the front of the house I could see my parents over by the living room window. My Pa was staring off into space, his dead amber hues locked on whatever waited for him outside. Ma tried to talk to him, as he sat in his chair, paler than death itself.

"Please honey, just talk to me…." She whimpered, begged him as rivers flowed from her beryl hues. But he said nothing, didn't even acknowledge her presence. He just sat there, lost in whatever tragic event he had witnessed.

I didn't know why my family was fallin' apart but I felt partly guilty. I knew deep down it was in the memories I had repressed within me. I didn't want to remember. I didn't want to accept it. There was no choice though, I had to. Just like every obstacle that was goin' to throw itself in front of me. But it wasn't just us who were affected by this unseen terror. As Quorra and I walked through the town the only thing I could feel was pure sadness. There were no smiles, no laughter, just silence. It was exactly like my house, like somethin' had come through and ripped everyone apart.

"You wanna go to the candy shop?" Quorra asked me, her cerulean hues sparkling with what seemed to be the beginning of tears. I wanted to hug her but I knew that would just make her cry. She was already tryin' her best to hold it back, and I didn't want to break the damn she was so desperately trying to keep intact so I just said,

"Yup."

It had all happened so quickly and next I knew we were leavin'.

But in the back of my mind it made sense. She had warned me, the woman with radiant eyes the same color as the Lifestream. A part of me knew why this was goin' on and yet a part of me felt guilty. Why we were packing, why everyone else in the peaceful town of Kalm were disturbed, and the undeniable fact that no one walked out to the Mythril Mine anymore. It was because I couldn't stop it. I was powerless. All of it made sense. And when I think back to the day that started it all, I can't help but resent the fact that I didn't put two and two together sooner.

_A place where the shine of Mythril is bright…._

**The day started like any other:**

"_Wake up brat! Breakfast is ready!"_

_I awoke to the slap of a pillow against my tiny body and the feeling of my feet bein' tugged on. I held onto the bed with a smile and a small giggle. The dawnin' sun filled my room, its orange-pinkish hue tinting everything in sight. Viridian hues cracked open, only to lie upon the dark ominous shadow that stood above them. Whoever it was, they had a tall like stature. He stood firmly even, his amber hues after-glowin' in the sun. I could see the muscles in his arms tighten as he yanked the covers away, a slightly annoyed smirk sliding across his face…_

"_Get up brat…"_

"_No..." I pouted back as I twisted away from him."_

_I turned my head to look at him, and was greeted by a raised brunette brow and an irritated grin. _

"_What did you say?"_

"_I said… no." I retorted back with a smile and before I could say another word I was hauled upside down by my ankles. _

_Torben lifted me up so that we were at eye level, a playful grin on his face, "You play too much kiddo." He chuckled as he hurled me over his shoulder, bringing out nothin' but giggles from me. I climbed atop his head, my legs resting on his shoulders as my hands ruffled through his spikey, caramel tinted hair._

"_Gigas…"_

"_Shut it kid, you're pushin' it."_

"_Quorra said it!"_

"_Well Quorra's a retard."_

"_Quorra's a what?" Torben stopped walking, as soon as he heard her cool voice. He stared forwards and met her gaze as she stood in the kitchen. The pot that was locked in her grip steamed all the way up to the ceiling, and if it was possible steam would probably be comin' from her ears too. Her golden shirtwaist dress, flowed as she took a step forward, a couple of wayward strands of her blonde mane fallin' over her shoulders._

_Ranine poked her head out from behind the taller and older Quorra, her icy hues glaring Torben down. She dove from behind her without hesitation as Quorra took another step forward, her face not that far from her younger but bigger brother. _

"_Take it back…"_

"_No you said I look like a Gigas… how do you even know what one looks like...?"_

"_It's what everyone calls you behind your back..." Ranine interjected between the two of them as she took the pot from Quorra's hands and to the table. "But then again everyone says she looks like a bipedal cuahl." She snipped back at Quorra with a sneaky mirth on her face._

"_They say what about me?" Quorra raged back at Ranine, her face bearing the same cat-like snarl a cuahl would make. _

"_Heh... You do look like a Cuahl…."_

"_Take it back Torben!"_

"_You guys stop fighting…" Next I knew I was bein' lifted off Torben's shoulders and into my Ma's arms as she waltzed inside the kitchen. I stared up at her as she sat me in a seat right at her side. It wasn't long before everyone else sat down and immediately began eating. The plates had already been set, eggs, bacon, and some porridge like cereal was on everyone's dish. The only thing that could be heard was the clinging of silverware against ceramic. It was like this all the time… no one ever really said anythin'. But it wasn't like we hated one another, it's just that well. No one really talks when they're enjoyin' food._

"_Is Pa at the Mine again…?" Torben was the first one to break the silence. He turned to face Ma, a piece of bacon hanging out of his mouth as he spoke. Quorra and Ranine laughed at him as he did so, their bodies contorting just enough so they could secretly whisper in each other's ears._

_Ma just stared at him with a sweet smile, her hand reaching out to rub my hair out of my eyes as I ate. "Yes he is, with your older brother. He tried to wake you this morning but he figured it'd be better to let you sleep."_

_I gazed at my Ma, as I forked an egg, my eyes watching her with an edge of curiosity. She continued to push the hair out of my eyes, her voice never waverin'. _

"_He said he wanted you to meet him there later if you could."_

"_I can, it's just that… I don't want to."_

"_Why is that?" Ma turned to face him, an air of perplexity shadowing her face._

_It wasn't long before I tuned out of the conversation. Eventually Ma stopped messin' with my hair and I found myself starin' at my full plate. I didn't really understand the grown up conversation, didn't want to. It was somethin' I just felt like I wasn't supposed to. All it was, was that Pa went out to the Mythril Mine to work just like every man in Kalm did to make a livin'. It wasn't much for some people dependin' on what you did. But if you got lucky you could make somethin' of yourself. Most people who were shop owners in Kalm had at one point worked in the Mines. It was how they had earned the money to sustain their business, well at least get a foot on the ground to. _

"_**Psst…." **_

_I could barely hear the whisper that inked across the table and into my direction. I found myself starin' at the table, lost in my own world. Everyone else was talkin' about what, I didn't care. A part of me didn't want to be at this table, I wanted to be in my room in my bed sleepin' the day away. I reluctantly stared at my plate, the egg I had forked earlier still attached to my silverware. By now I knew my food was cold, there was no point in eatin' it. But I knew if I didn't Ma would get upset, she would want me to at least some of it. And if I didn't I knew she wouldn't let me go outside to play later. _

_I couldn't have that…._

_I started shoveling my breakfast into my mouth, not even botherin' to taste a single bite. I just put it in my mouth and swallowed with closed beryl hues. "Whoa… look at him go… Slow down Reno, for ya choke!" Torben screamed at me, his large arm reaching across the table to snatch my fork right out of my mouth. "Jeez… if I'd let you, you'd kill your damn self." He sighed with a disgusted look on his face as he threw the fork behind him._

"_Torben! What did I tell you about cursing? Go pick up that fork…" Ma semi-yelled at him, her hands attempting to cover my ears._

"_Jeebus such the bully Torben…" Ranine laughed as she kicked her boots up on the table. Ma screeched at her, frantic hands slapping her shoes away. _

"_Ranine! What is with you, and go put on a dress! You know I hate you dressing like a boy!"_

"_But I hate dresses Ma!" She whined back, her hands clenching the tan short sleeve shirt she wore. _

_Ma grasped her denim jeans, her face full of disdain as she did so, "Those are so unbefitting of a lady. Now shoo…"_

"_Fine….." She snipped back as she got up from the table, her shoulders slumped in defeat. Torben snickered as she walked off, a yelp of pain emanating from him as Quorra smacked him across the head with a snarl._

_Ma turned to face me, her palms resting on my cheeks, "Are you okay angel?"_

_I just nodded back eyes wide, as she wiped the excess food from my face. Her other hand rubbin' against my short crimson spikes, "You can go play outside honey, if you want to."_

"_Okay!" _

_I exclaimed as I jumped up from the table, not even botherin' to push in my chair as I ran towards the front door. I dove for the entranceway, my hands immediately lockin' on my shoes and my navy jacket, and out the door. If Ma saw what I did she would kill me, but I could care less at this point. I've been waiting for this moment all week. I hopped into my shoes as I ran through the town, my navy jacket making a temporary home on my head as I did so. My crimson spikes danced in the wind as I ran full speed towards the exit of the town with a grin on my face. I waved at many of the shopkeepers as I sped by, my smile never waverin' from my face. I had my day planned, I was gonna go out of Kalm and adventure. I had been talkin' it through with Ranine for days. All I had to do was meet her at the spot at the hill near the edge of the tiny little hamlet we called home. A home that could never truly be replaced._

_I waltzed right out of Kalm, my aqua hues searching for anythin' out of the normal. I knew this was dangerous; after all there were monsters out here bigger than me. But I didn't care, even though I was a kid I was tough. I practically laughed danger in the face; well… at least I thought I could. My feet guided me to the bottom of the hill, it didn't take me long to find a place to sit. Next I knew I was sitting on a giant rock as I waited for Ranine to show up exactly as she promised. It would only be a matter of time now._

"_**Reno…."**_

_I turned my head in the direction of the voice that crept in my direction. It was sweet almost melodious, the way the owner said my name. I had heard it earlier at the dinner table back at the house, I had thought it was Ranine but it wasn't. No, it was someone way different. _

"_**Reno….my child."**_

_My name was sung again, the owner definitely a woman, behind it I could hear the chirpin' of birds nearby. I stared in the direction of it, my eyes waverin' over a certain spot in the brush of the area. There was nothin' to be seen, nothin' to be heard. But I knew that behind that wooded area there was a person watchin' me, lurkin' in the distance. It made me slightly paranoid, so much so that it willed my feet forward. I wasn't stupid but curious. I knew deep down that this was foolish in a way but I just reassured myself that it was curiosity at work. That's all it was, and nothin' more. But I couldn't let go of how afraid I was, I tried to laugh, and call out to the person,_

"_You're not funny y'know…" I retorted back to the beckonin' of my name as I walked closer and closer to the brush, my viridian hues pulsating in fear. _

"_**You are my child… everyone on this earth is..."**_

_I gazed back in the voice's direction, my eyes wide as I stepped closer and closer to the concealed area In front of me. It was shrouded by trees taller than any building in our small town, dense with bushes thicker than a wall of cement, and foliage so compact that it was hard to even step through. A hand paler than any I had ever seen reached out for me as a pair of glowin' mako hues stared back at me. They pierced my soul, twisting this unfamiliar fear within me. I dove back with a yelp almost immediately as I fell on my back, my hands diggin' into the ground as I scooted away from whatever it was. I cried out for help, my nails scraping at the dirt beneath me as I howled aloud for anyone to hear._

_The first thing I laid my eyes on were the winding brunette curls that spilled over her shoulders, her lustrous icy blues never wavered from me, her long flowing white gown twirling all the way down to the ground. She sent a beautiful smile in my direction, her brunette brows rising with the beam on her face. She reached out to me, her slender fingers intertwinin' into mine. Her grip was gentle as she pulled me up off the ground, her eyes showing no intent to hurt me whatsoever._

"_**Do not be afraid my child, I mean no harm."**_

_I just stared at the woman, my beryl hues wide with disbelief. This woman was otherworldly, almost alien like. It scared me in a way, brought up that fear in me once again. "Who are you…?"_

_She chuckled at my question, another sweet smile creepin' on her face, __**"I am Gaia, little one. Do not forget your purpose."**_

"_Gaia… Pur…pose..?"_

"_**Yes, your reason for bein' here. I gave you the option to change your life… now you are bein' given that chance."**_

"_The chance? What's goin' on?"_

_Her feet guided her in my direction, her palm wrapping itself around my cheek. Her frosty blues seemed saddened against the melancholy smile she gave me. I stepped back in response, my fists clenchin' in doubt. There was no way that the woman who stood before me could be who she said she was. Gaia was not a person who walked the earth like every human here. There was no way she could be her, Gaia could not be on this earth! She was an entity, guardian of the Lifestream, not flesh and blood like me. I had no idea what she meant by this 'chance' she spoke of. But in her eyes was nothin' but truth with an edge of sadness, as she closed the distance between us once again. Tears fell from her eyes, her face still bearing that same forlorn quality._

"_**If you do not take action, many of my children will die."**_

"_What do you mean? I don't understand!" I cried out to Gaia, my face full of perplexity. Children… death... chances… I didn't understand any of it. I refused to understand it. But she would show me, she would remind me. The hand that reached for my face and pulled me into the darkness would assure me of that._

"_**I've let you live in peace long enough… it is time for you to understand."**_

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_**The birds in the sky…**_

_**Panicky ocher hues barely hidden behind dark shades…**_

_**Overwhelming regret…**_

_**It was all too familiar but I wasn't dyin' this time, I was observin' from a distance.**_

_**Shattered goggles, tattered clothes, a crimson mane spread out from my fading body. I didn't need to be told that was me, it was obvious. Those were Ranine's goggles, that was my hair, down to the bangs I could never keep out of my eyes, but the person that kneeled over me was still a mystery. He watched me with a blank expression on his face, his emotions hidden by the sunglasses that sheltered them. He called out my name and to Gaia, his hand nudging my body repeatedly. Beggin', prayin', pleadin'… none of his small cries were heard. I could tell that he was the quiet type, but my death had brought out some emotion in this man.**_

"_**Please..."He uttered one last time as a single trail of water crept out from his shades. But I said nothin'; the only response I gave was my final breath. I was motionless, no longer breathin', my aqua hues opened up to death; their gaze forever locked on the sky above. The bald man passed a hand over my eyes, shielding them from the living world forever. It wasn't long before a blonde haired woman ran towards the bald man and I. She stopped dead in her tracks, her auburn hues fixated on my body as a Wutaianese man appeared right by her side. She dove for me, her piercing wail echoing throughout the forest as she held me close. The Wutainese male seemed just as shocked as she was, but unlike her he stood in place, eyes wide and brows furrowed. He directed his gaze at the bald man, anger burning in his obsidian orbs.**_

"_**Rude, what happe-!"**_

**"Tseng…"Rude cut him off with a sad shake of his head; it was obvious he didn't know. He had walked up on me just like they had. "Elena… please…" He begged her as she held me close, rivers pouring from her tawny hues.**

"_**I can't… he can't… he promised he wouldn't… He said he wouldn't! Reno… wake up! Say something, I don't care if it's a joke or you're hitting on me just say something! Just please let this be a prank!"**_

_**But it was no prank. I lifted up from her arms like a stringed puppet, the life force given to me from the Lifestream fading into the sky. She held on, tears flying from her eyes as she shook her head.**_

"_**NO! RENO NO!" Her hands tore at my blazer, the grip she held forceful enough to tear the clothes from my torso. She cried out, as she let the weight of her body drag me back down to the earth. **_

"_**I won't let you go! You can't leave!"**_

_**Rude and Tseng were right by her side; they grabbed at her waist and pulled her back, tryin' their best to get her to loosen her hold on me. **_

_**Tseng pried at her fingers, his face filled with an emotion I couldn't read... "Release him Elena, Please!" **_

_**But it was as if she didn't hear him, her grip became stronger, more desperate.**_

"_**You have to let him go! He has to go to the Lifestream!" **_

_**"I can't! He can't go!"**_

_**"Elena listen to me; this is an order. Let him go!"**_

_**"No I can't, I just can't! Reno can't leave us!**_

_**"He can't stay here! Do you want him to be trapped!?" Tseng called out to her again, his fingers intertwinin' with hers allowing her to pull away.**_

_**She stared back at him like a child who had just released their favorite balloon, her face forlorn as she let me go. It wasn't long before I faded into the sky, my life force dancin' in the wind and up to the heavens.**_

_**Elena fell to her knees, her eyes widened in shock and disbelief. She appeared defeated, and it wasn't long before Rude and Tseng succumbed too. **_

"_**Kuso!" With a kick of the foot my stun baton flew across the forest floor, and right into the puddle of blood I left behind. Tseng stormed off with a growl and out of sight, leaving Rude and Elena behind. It would be awhile before he came back, the façade he so desperately tried to hold up through this entire event was nothing but a mirror. All the cracks from every repair could be seen in that one action. **_

_**Rude had lost his shades in the battle to let me go, it was the first time I had seen his eyes in a while. They bore a saddened and pained expression as they watched what was left of me float upwards. The only sound that could be heard was Elena's weeping, and the sound of broken branches as an angered Wutaian tore the forest to shreds. Rude fell to Elena's side, his hands rubbin' her back comfortingly. **_

"_**He was our family…" She exasperated between sobs, her desolate auburn hues starin' off into space. "He'd call me rookie; laugh at me because I made mistakes, but when I needed him he was there. He was always there…. Now he's…" She gazed up at the sky, her hands clenching her pants legs, "He's gone…!" She dove into Rude, her body heavin' with tortured cries; he made no hesitation petting her head. Now was not the time to worry about appearance, about the fact that they were Turks. I had died and they were mournin' me… they were actually mournin' me.**_

"_**He… was my partner. No, he was more than that. All those times we stuck together: AVALANCHE and the Remnants. He never left my side, not even for a second." The pain in his ocher hues deepened as his russet brows furrowed, **_

"_**I leave his side… and…"**_

"_**It is not your fault…" Tseng interjected as he sat down right next to the two, his shadowy hues staring off into the distance. "I want them killed… whoever did this. We are Turks and no one… hurts our own."**_

_**Rude and Elena just stared at their boss, both of them nodding their head in agreement. **_

"_**After all…," He began as he picked himself off the ground, his free hand reaching over to grab my goggles as he stood erect. "It is what that… bakayarō… would want us to do." For a moment I could have sworn I heard Tseng's voice crack as he spoke, his eyes hidden behind pale lids. He walked off without saying another word and the others followed; they all turned back to stare at the sky one last time. No one said anythin' but the silence was enough. And with that they all walked away, never to return. **_

"_You have to save my children in order to change your future. Deep in the earth is where it all begins, where the shine of Mythril is bright."_

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"_Reno! Reno!" I awoke to a jarring sensation and the sound of my name. I gasped as if I had forgotten to breathe, my hands grabbing my chest. _

"_Are you okay! Say somethin'?" Ranine screamed as she shook me as hard as she could. I opened my eyes, my hands wrapping themselves around her wrists. I felt dizzy and disoriented as I stood off of the ground, my knees weak. My viridian orbs searched for that woman but she was nowhere to be found. I stared off into the distance, dumbfounded and perplexed. What had I been shown…? It wasn't soon before my own question was answered. My head pulsated, throbbed painfully as I fell to my knees. _

_Sector seven… the cries of pain and despair, and the horrendous feeling of the hands of the dead on my skin._

_Rude's ocher hues and the sadness within them…_

_Me pleading with Gaia for a second chance._

"_**You can finally be that 'someone special' your sister wanted you to be."**_

"_Reno… you're scaring me."_

"_I'm fine…" I answered back with widened eyes as I picked myself up off the ground once again. I remembered it now; I know why I'm here. I have a future to change. I gazed at my open palms as I close them shut, my eyes flittin' over to Ranine with a smile. "You wanna play?"_

_Her eyes lit up at my words, a grin brighter than any light filling my view. "Yeah!"_

" _**Deep in the earth is where it all begins, where the shine of Mythril is bright."**_

_I wouldn't forget…_

_I would never forget the place where the shine of Mythril is bright. _

"_Let's go!" Ranine giggled as she grabbed my hand and whisked me away. We ran without direction, through the hills, pass the flowers, and amidst the trees. I was so happy, but in the back of my mind I couldn't help but think of what destruction was goin' to happen. It wouldn't be long before all this happiness died away leavin' nothin' but sorrow and agony behind. I would be left in the darkness all alone, without a single soul to help me. I would live alone, die alone, but I wouldn't leave this world alone… I could at least count on that._

"_**You are loved my child…."**_

'_But what's the point of bein' loved if everyone you coulda ever called your own is dead?'_

"_**You'll soon see…"**_

_We continued to run, never stopping. We laughed through the hills, through the forest, all over until we couldn't laugh anymore. We made it far, so much so that we didn't know where we were. But Ranine stopped, her hand reaching up to the sky. "Is that a fire?!" Ranine screamed out as she pointed in the direction of the Mythril Mines a plume of smoke taintin' the sky, her eyes full of fear. _

_It all came rushing to me; Gaia, her children, the tears…. My chance, my chance to change everythin'._

"_Where the shine of Mythril is bright…" Fell from my lips as I jerked her hand away and ran towards Kalm. I had to tell everyone, I had to do somethin'!_

"_Reno! Where are you goin'!?" She hollered as her feet ran after me. _

_But I wouldn't listen, couldn't listen… what the hell was a six year old supposed to do? _

_My lungs burned and ached with each and every breathe, the muscles in my legs and arms screeched in pain as I ran, and in my mind I was hopeless. __No one would believe us; we weren't even supposed to be out here. Ma would kill us if she found out. But what about Pa? I couldn't let anythin' happen to him, I would never be able to forgive myself… ever._

_It wasn't long before I made it back to the town, the tiny peaceful hamlet we called home. "There's a fire! The Mines!" I bellowed loudly, like a madman as I ran from shop to shop. It wasn't long before I reached home, screamin' the same words. Torben was right in the doorway, a plate fallin' from his hands and to the floor, smashin' into a million pieces._

"_A fire… Pa!?" He dashed right past me without hesitation, pushin' me out of his way and onto the floor. _

_Quorra immediately ran to my side, Ranine skidding to a halt behind me. "What are you talkin' about Reno! Nows not the time for games!" She roared as she snatched me by the shoulders._

"_No! I saw… it too!" Ranine huffed out of breath as she fell to the floor, her tired eyes fluttering with fatigue. _

"_A beast! A beast!" Those very words echoed throughout the town, shrieks of misery filled our ears as we walked outside to witness the commotion._

"_**Many of my children will die… where the shine of Mythril is bright."**_

_Blood poured into the town, clingin' to the men who stumbled into our home. Moans of suffering, bodies of the dead, the dyin', the injured. They were Mythril Miners, the very men who had helped this town run. Cuts embedded themselves deep in their flesh, some missing limbs, others burned beyond recognition. Howls of pain and sorrow filled the area, it was unlike anyone had ever seen. No one here was accustomed to misery and angst. Everyone just stood there in surprise as they barreled in. But out of all of the men one stood out, his amber orbs were wide with shock, his tremblin' arms heavy with another young man's body that was halfway torn to shreds._

_Ma ran towards him, her hands covering her mouth as she realized who it was. "What happened!" She yelled at Pa, her shaky hands attempting to reach for the young man in his arms. But Pa just turned away from her as he fell to the ground, as he pulled the remains close to his chest._

_Tears filled Pa's eyes, his lips shaking with doubt, "It tore him to shreds….. Zolom tore Baron to pieces…."_

**So much for a peaceful town.**

By the time Quorra and I made it back from the it was dark in the town of Kalm. It matched the gloom that blanketed itself over us. The sun would no longer shine here like it used to, the birds would never come back, and a smile will never show itself upon any of our faces again. The happy days here were over and they would never return. At least… not in my lifetime.

I walked down the hall, my tiny feet guidin' me to his room. It was left untouched, just as he had that mornin' when he left for the Mythril Mines a week ago. His sleeping clothes were still strung out on the floor, his bed poorly made, and his slippers were overturned by the door. It was as if it was trapped in time. I felt so guilty, but I hardly knew him. I wasn't as close to Baron like I was to Ranine, but that didn't mean I was indifferent to him. Seein' him like that, in pieces… I could only imagine what Pa was goin' through.

I turned away from Baron's room, closing the door behind me. I couldn't react fast enough… and in the end many people died. I stared at my small hands, my eyes consumed by hatred. Here I was a twenty three year old man stuck in a helpless six year olds body. How was I supposed to save them?

'_Are you happy with this?'_

"_**Every wound, every tear, every sorrowful event must be repeated once again… would you like to restart?"**_

Gaia appeared right before me, her mako orbs illuminating in the darkness. She reached a hand out to me, a sweetened smile passing her beautiful features.

"_**I can give you another chance."**_

I glared at the hand before me, my own reaching to smack it away. "You can keep your chance…"

The next morning we left for Midgar. The silence lingered with us the entire way there; I could only anticipate the ruin that laid in wait for me. Was six years of peace really enough? Did it really have to be this way?

As we drove away, from the once peaceful place we used to call home I couldn't help but regret not takin' that second chance. I coulda probably stopped Zolom from destroying Kalm's peace. But what about Sector Seven? Who woulda dropped the plate then… if I stayed in Kalm it couldn't have been me.

No. It had to happen… there was no way I coulda escaped it.

I had to stop that plate from fallin'… if I didn't more people would die. Even if that meant I had to sacrifice my own happiness I would do it, even if that meant I would be left alone I had to be able to do it.

I was the only one that could stop it.

**No one but me.**


End file.
